Life

We Answered 5 Questions About Adoption That You've Been Too Afraid To inquire about

Adoption could be a very scary thing. It can bring different feelings based on which person you are in this mixture. If you're the adoptive parent, normally the only feelings you are feeling are love and joy. If you are the adoptee, like me, you can have those same feelings, however, you also can have feelings of confusion, uncertainty, and lots of questions you're afraid to ask. This is exactly why I place a question out to the public. What exactly are the questions you have about adoption? Below are those questions — and my answers. 

Is it essential for the kid to stay connected to their heritage if raised inside a different culture?

My parents attempted to keep my sister and that i connected with our cultures. They also had to weigh the cost-benefit ratio. Quite simply, they didn't want us to feel too “different” from your new home. They took us to Korean culture camps when we were little, but ultimately decided to stop taking us after a couple of years. However, they notify us know that if we ever desired to explore our past, they would support us 100%.

If you've got a loving adoptive family, a good family, what motivates your desire or need to seek out or know your biological family?,

I can only react to this as an international adoptee, but I've always wanted to know who I appeared as if. Being an adoptee, we all want to understand who we look like. Whose eyes will we have? Who's nose to we have? These are all queries that non adoptee's don't even have to consider. And for many of them they don't think about it.

How did your folks explain your adoption many years ago?

I remember using a lot of books about it, however i keep in mind just always knowing. So, I can not really pinpoint a sit down conversation of when my parents told me. I recall one book which i loved, was about a little boy who was with his foster parents within an Asian country. He just desired finality in the story. He knew what his story was, he knew how his story took place, but it always were built with a kind of cliff hanger ending. And most anything he wanted a dad and mom of their own. And one day he got on the plane and traveled to his forever family. This story helped me understand my very own story, too.

Given your answer above, why do you think it was so easy that you should adapt, and it's so hard for other children to adapt?

I are only able to speak personally, however i think how old you are when you are adopted offers quite a bit to do with it. This is exactly why the adoption proceedings will vary based on your age. I had been adopted at 1 year old. I was sufficiently small not to really remember the difference after a couple of months. That's not to say those couple of months weren't hard though. Many of the times, it's hard for adopted kids to bond with their new family initially, because they are just ripped in the only normal they have known. Security is a huge problem for a lot of adopted children. They need to realize that their safety, and that you, their loved ones, aren't going anywhere. And so in those first few months, consistency is best, having the parents having the ability to take time off work can be helpful.

How does a parent sooth their child’s fears that they're unwanted?

I think any adopted child experiences feelings of “why didn't my birth parents want me?” Some would say honesty is the best policy, but I think this will depend on your child's “story.” If you know whether it's in the social background, or whether you realize their birth parents, tell them the reality but tell it for them in a way that's not going to hurt them.

Adoption can be daunting if you’re looking at it from an outsiders point of view. However the rewards you reap are forever. Adoption is so special. And that i couldn't feel more blessed. I've always known I was adopted, however it hasn't mattered to me. Everything mattered to me was which i was loved and wanted, and my family made me feel that way tenfold. When I was utilized my parents gained another daughter, but what I gained am much more, I gained a forever family to love me completely and totally for the rest of my entire life and that i will never be in a position to thank them enough. 

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